Name: Collin Teo Jun Kai
Class: 5Faithfulness
Date: 8/5/2009
Composition for character development
“A Birthday Party gone wrong”
“Hey Ben, you are invited to my birthday party this Saturday, and I am inviting only my best friends, hope you can come!” said Tim as he was thinking of other people whom he should invite to his party. “Ah! How about Nick? But…everyone else in class says he is planning a nasty trick on me ever since that time when tripped him accidently.” Finally, Tim decided to invite Nick for the party despite the warnings from his friends.
Nick was Tim’s best friend, however the thing that makes them different is that Tim was a good student that excelled in all areas, however Nick was mischievous and usually does not do well in his exams. In addition, ever since Tim accidently tripped Nick in front of the whole class, and humiliated him, Nick has been holding a grudge against Tim. Also, Nick’s big size would mean that nobody would want to mess with him.
So on the birthday, everyone arrived on time and went into the house, shortly after, it was time for the cake-cutting, and there was a short break. During that short break, Ben happened to pass by the garden, and saw something so horrible: Nick was killing all of Tim’s plants by putting poison on the soil!
Without hesitation, Ben went forward and told Nick to stop it; however he only got hit in the stomach instead. “You better not let the cat out of the bag, or else…” and with that, Nick walked away calmly.
Ben was in a dilemma. Should he or should he not tell Tim what he saw? If he did, Nick would definitely know who it was and beat him up. However if he did not, Tim would be terribly upset. So finally, he decided on a solution, he would give Tim’s mum a call and tell her what happened.
After the call, Ben felt relieved, and went on to eat the cake.
Comments by Cheng Yuan:
Mabye "that time" is a bit too Singlish, mabye you could use "That day" and why not just let Ben tell Tim but Tim will act like he wanted to just go to the garden to get fresher air?
Comments by Ken Zho:
Dont tell me Ben was the only one who passed the garden. Since Tim is such a good student, he should be morepopular and have more friends, it can't be that only Ben passed the garden and i think u should include more characters.
Class: 5Faithfulness
Date: 8/5/2009
Composition for character development
“A Birthday Party gone wrong”
“Hey Ben, you are invited to my birthday party this Saturday, and I am inviting only my best friends, hope you can come!” said Tim as he was thinking of other people whom he should invite to his party. “Ah! How about Nick? But…everyone else in class says he is planning a nasty trick on me ever since that time when tripped him accidently.” Finally, Tim decided to invite Nick for the party despite the warnings from his friends.
Nick was Tim’s best friend, however the thing that makes them different is that Tim was a good student that excelled in all areas, however Nick was mischievous and usually does not do well in his exams. In addition, ever since Tim accidently tripped Nick in front of the whole class, and humiliated him, Nick has been holding a grudge against Tim. Also, Nick’s big size would mean that nobody would want to mess with him.
So on the birthday, everyone arrived on time and went into the house, shortly after, it was time for the cake-cutting, and there was a short break. During that short break, Ben happened to pass by the garden, and saw something so horrible: Nick was killing all of Tim’s plants by putting poison on the soil!
Without hesitation, Ben went forward and told Nick to stop it; however he only got hit in the stomach instead. “You better not let the cat out of the bag, or else…” and with that, Nick walked away calmly.
Ben was in a dilemma. Should he or should he not tell Tim what he saw? If he did, Nick would definitely know who it was and beat him up. However if he did not, Tim would be terribly upset. So finally, he decided on a solution, he would give Tim’s mum a call and tell her what happened.
After the call, Ben felt relieved, and went on to eat the cake.
Comments by Cheng Yuan:
Mabye "that time" is a bit too Singlish, mabye you could use "That day" and why not just let Ben tell Tim but Tim will act like he wanted to just go to the garden to get fresher air?
Comments by Ken Zho:
Dont tell me Ben was the only one who passed the garden. Since Tim is such a good student, he should be morepopular and have more friends, it can't be that only Ben passed the garden and i think u should include more characters.